Flibbit Flop, Hip hop, sing off op

Flippity plippity, bippit bop, I say I want to sing some pop

Fliking cluck, I say, You sir… really suck

Hey now dude, why you gotta be, so rude

Wiggit wap, you are a total sap

Giggity goop, why are you acting like a piece of poop

Ziddity Zod, you’re mom is bigger then a pod

A pod? I feel you fell short there my friend, there fore I will send your mothers ashes to the port

Hippity Hoff, I challange you to a dance off!

What? What are you playing at?

Dance off, come on blo. Youre not that slo

Hey moe, you are acting like quite a foe!

My name is not moe you croe

it is thoe!

That doesn’t even rhyme you piece of thyme

thyme? It does rhyme, thyme and rhyme lhyme!

See, no… you can’t do that, those don’t rhyme, you can’t speel it wrong to make it rhyme!

Ok bro, I know how you feel

NO! You can’t do that?

Well… youre fat. Eat less meel!

No, you can’t rhyme it with something before!

But I caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!!!!!!!!

You’re a terrible MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAn!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

SLO MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

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A Man of Experience

The wind whipped at the shutters as it ran through the cobbled streets. The wind was neither the end nor the beginning, but it was a beginning. Richard stepped out into the street pulling the hood of his cloak up over head, hiding his features. Two little lights glinted within his mysterious cowl. Few had looked into those glints, like cold distant stars, giving light but no warmth. Even fewer had lived to speak of those stars.

A cold rain had picked up, the wind forcing it into the faces of men and women walking the crowded street. Richard stalked the streets, waiting for the last light of day to plunge behind the horizon. The streets crisscrossed the city making it difficult for a man with less experience to find his way. Richard was not a man with less experience. An alley here, cutting through a shop there. Hopping a stone wall, crossing across a sewer exit. A man with less experience would say that it was impossible to follow the man in the hood, then again it was not men of less experience Richard worried about.

He found his mark a mere ten minutes after sunset. The palace was difficult to find, despite being large and ornately designed. Guests flooded the courtyard and even wound through the surrounding streets and intersections. Richard ignored the gate leading to the large courtyard and instead hoisted himself over the low wall surrounding it. He prowled through the well tended garden. A garden many argued was to well tended.

Richard pressed his hand against the cool stone of the palace’s west wing. His eyes scanning for a means of ascent. His eye was caught by a string of vines clinging to the wall, weaving their way up to an open window on the second floor. Richard couldn’t help but smile, despite knowing that no one could see it. ‘Perhaps…’ he thought ‘the queen had been to concerned with her garden. So concerned she had not even seen her own walls weakening.’ Richard climbed quickly, wasting no time. He pulled himself through the window masterfully, finding the room withing empty. The maps he had reviewed flashed through his memory. He knew exactly where to go.

The queen’s bed chamber was large and ornate. As was deemed necessary for a woman of her office. Richard scanned for the lock box his client had described to him. He found it quickly even in the dark. Striding towards it he pulled the key he had been given from a pouch on his belt. Turning the key gently he pulled the lock box open. Inside was a strange medallion with a large octagonal hole in the center. Richard couldn’t help but feel like a pawn in a larger game as he stuffed the object in another pocket on his belt. Richard heard the door knob turning, the door pushing open.

“A noise complaint? From up here?”

“I suppo…”

One swipe, then two. Two dead guards lay face down on the floor. A threatening message to the queen to be sure, but it was of no concern. It didn’t matter if the queen knew of the missing object or not. What did matter, is that she knew it was too late.

 

The Fog

My eyes snapped open. Questions flooded my mind. Who am I? Where am I? When am I?

I stood slowly testing the muscles in my legs. I found myself surrounded in a thick swirling fog. I took my first tentative step forward. My leg twitch slightly, almost like I hadn’t done this in a while. I took another, and another. Tentative steps soon became confident strides as I pressed into the fog. I soon found I had walked for what felt like hours. Deeper and deeper into the fog. It grew thicker as I kept going, pressing deeper and deeper on my body, compressing me, almost like the fog was trying to force me out of my skin.

Suddenly the fog lessened. I was in a clearing. A wall of fog surrounded me on every side. As I kept going the fog seemed to follow me. I knew I was moving forward the ground changed beneath me clumps of began pressing up through the ground. I passed a tree, a bench, a path. Then I found it… the first of many. The scene was familiar but it felt distant. Like a dream that you can’t remember… almost can’t remember. Two boys stood next to a large tree. The taller of the two held the other by the collar, his fist raised in the air, curled into a fist. They stood motionless, like statues. I wanted to call out, to tell him to stop, he was making a mistake, but, my mouth wouldn’t move.

My legs, almost on their own, took me away from the scene. Back into the fog they took me. I walked back through the dense fog, until, just as before it cleared and I found yet another scene. The taller boy, a little older now, sat in the corner of a classroom. His peers sat around him pointing and laughing. Again I wanted to shout, to scream, this time in defense of the boy. I could see tears welling up in his eyes. Where was the teacher? Where was anyone who could stand and defend him? I scanned the room once again, and I found nobody. My legs carried me again, this time I was sure they acted on their own.

Another clearing, smaller then the other two. The boy was back, much older now. He sat alone in a funeral home. He wore a blank expression like a mask. But I could see, just behind the eyes. Regret welled up in him. Regret, pain, anger, sorrow. The scene changed rapidly, the boy stood in a large grave yard. In his hands he held a small jar. The mask was gone now. He wore his emotions openly. His look was one I recognized, it tickled my memory. It was a look I knew I had worn before.

I walked into the next clearing. The boy was older, as usual. He stood in a hall lined with lockers. Next to him was a girl. They smiled at each other, they laughed, they talked. He looked happy.

My legs dragged me away. I wasn’t ready to leave. I wanted to enjoy the boy’s happiness, his smile. In the next clearing I found the boy. He looked to be the same age. It looked to be the same hall. The girl walked away from him now, the boy looked down at his feet and frowned.

The next clearing I knew was the last. I could feel the finality with which my legs plopped me at the clearing’s edge. The boy stood on the other side. He looked to be a little older, if not by much. I stepped towards him. He advanced as well. I froze my eyes wide. I stared at him, and he looked right back at me. We took tentative steps forward, to meet in the middle. I stuck my hand out towards him tentatively. Our fingers brushed and I turned and ran. I ran back through all the scenes. Back through the fog. Deeper and deeper farther and farther away. I didn’t look back. I could never look back. I had not touched his fingers, I had brushed the cool, hard surface of polished glass.

The bar

I stood just outside the compound my leg and shoulder were starting to buckle under the pain of the bullet wounds. I had to hurry if I was going to make it out of this. I limped down the broken and rapidly decaying street, the ash from the fires fluttered down giving the illusion of snow. A large and deafening crunch roared up behind me follow by a booming crash that rattled me to the core. That would be the second tower, and if everything went to plan it would soon be followed by the next 2 towers followed by the main building. I couldn’t think about that right now. That was set in stone, nothing I could do about it. The only thing I could do now was try and get away. The city surrounding the complex was one large and wondrous, easy to get lost in. Now it lay in ruins beneath my feat as I hobbled down a side street, trying to make it back to my ship. Another crunch and a crash rang out from the complex. A turned back to see a large fire reach towards the sky where it tapered off and began to sink back down to the crust of the earth. I didn’t have much longer before the entire city was engulfed in flames. I brought up the pace going from a walk to a slight jog. As I ran I could only hope my team had gotten out of there and were now heading to the same place I was. If any of them didn’t make it out it would be on me. My gloomy thoughts were interrupted by foot steps ahead of me. I came sliding to a stop. I pressed my body against the wall of the building a peered around the corner. Four men were pushing a small child forward ahead of them laughing as they went. Each of them held a rifle, they all looked like they had come from the compound. The kid tripped and fell. She began to cry when she looked down at her scraped, and bleeding knee. One of the men held his hand up high in the air to slap her, but I sprung into action immediately. I took two shoots at the man with my pistol. He crumpled to the ground before his hand could come to meet her cheek. His three buddies turned around and began fire immediately. I leaned back into my cover. I carefully leaned out and took two more shots at another of the men. Two left I thought to my self. I leaned out again and pulled the trigger. Instead of the familiar bangs of bullets I heard a soft clicking sound… empty. I sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy. I ran out from behind the wall towards the two remaining men. I threw my pistol at the taller of the two. It struck him in the jaw and he fell to the ground, I ran and tackled the other man sending dust and debris flying through the air. I squeezed my hands to the mans neck constricting tighter and tighter. The taller man grabbed me and threw me through the air. I slammed against an old building that had been hit too many times. I flew through the wall and crashed into the dirt. The taller man was there in an instant standing over me. He grabbed my neck with one hand and beat me with the other. Pain erupted through my skull and neck. With each blow I was losing my already loosening grip on reality. I grabbed his uniform and pulled him down rolling backwards. The roles where soon reversed. With each hit I could see him slipping further and further away.

I stood up. Blood dripped down my hand and fell lightly to the floor with a signature drip, drip, drip.

“Come out NOW!”

I sighed yet again. I had forgotten all about the last man. I walked out of the hole in the wall slowly with my hands up.

“Get down on the ground, NOW!”

He held his gun up, pointed right at me. I knelt down slowly. He walked towards me and held the barrel of his gun right up to my temples. He took one second to long to pull the trigger. I grabbed the barrel and stood up. I swept his legs out from under him and just as before the roles were reversed. I held the gun to his head and I pulled the trigger.

One

Two

Three

The familiar guns shots rang out yet again.

Flatline

The look in her eyes told me everything was going to be ok, that we we’re going to make it through this. But I knew better. It was the look parents gave their kids when they told them their fish went to a family reunion, or that your dog was going to come home tomorrow. My mom had never lied to me, growing up. Even when I was younger she always did her best to be straight forward and honest with me.

“Ms. Jonsohn? Do you want the test results back?” The doctor walked back in and put his gloved hand on the side of my mom’s bed. She smiled up at him and said

“No thank you.”

“Ok I’ll just leave them right here.” He placed the documents on a bench that hugged the far wall

I had begun to hate the man. He always came with bad news. No matter what room we were in. No matter how long it had been since our last visit. He always brought the bad news.

“Pyter… he’s only trying to help. Don’t shoot the messenger.”

I let out a long sigh “I know mom.”

She smiled back at me. It was a hollow smile. The doctor had said she had a few hours left at best. That had been at 3:00 this afternoon, and the clock on the bedside table was getting close to 9:00. I reached over and grabbed the test results.

“Pyter don’t look at those.”

“Fine.”

I had begun to toon out the rhythmic beeping of her heart beat monitor. I had grown use to it as the months in the hospital room dragged on. Beep, beep, beep.

Beep

“Pyter there is something I want to talk to you about.”

“Yeah?”

Beep

“I don’t think I’m gonna be around much longer so I…”

“Don’t say that mom.”

“Don’t interrupt me.” She said the stern look in her eyes was all too familiar to me.

Beep

“Now with out me around it’s going to be… hard… for you. So I want you to promise me that you wont be someone you aren’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I want you to remember who you are. Don’t listen to your father whatever he tells you.”

“I can’t even understand half of what he says he’s so…”

“What did I tell you about interrupting me?”

“drunk all the time.” I muttered under my breath

Beep

“So Pyter… I wan’t you to promise me that you’ll always remember…”

“Remember what?’

“…who…”

“Who what?”

“who…you…are…”

Flatline

I can hear them

I can hear them in the walls. They have been there for years but I’ve never cared enough about this place to do anything about it. As I walked out of my house for the first time I felt… nothing. No pain, no anger, nothing. I would stop by the graveyard one last time before I went to the spaceport. I couldn’t leave with out saying goodbye one last time. I continued down the street swinging left at the first ally. I took a brisk pace going down the ally. I had to catch my flight in a couple hours and I couldn’t afford to miss it. The gate to the graveyard I had ended up breaking years ago to make it easier to get in. I could walk to her in my sleep. I counted the rows silently in my head.1…2…3…4.  Her grave lay beneath a huge oak tree just the way she would have liked it. My mother’s tombstone didn’t do her enough justice. It was pale gray and cracked in too many places.

” I don’t know what to tell you.” I mumble softly almost beneath my breath

” I guess I can start off by saying how sorry I am. I’m sorry that I can’t be who you nee…” I faltered. What am I doing? This isn’t what she would have wanted. I wipe the tear from my eye and take a few tentative steps backwards. I fall to my knees and I just sit there. Not sure what to do.

 

I walked down the empty street. A subtle downpour began, it’s rhythmic pitters and patters helped drown out the sounds of the city. I walked by a dark dank alley. Inside where two men mugging another. I took one more step before I looked again. I could hear my mother’s words seeping into my brain and washing over me.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

I took one more step.

“Be, the, change, you, want, to, see, in, the, world.”

I took one more step but then I stopped and I looked back. The two men were beginning to walk away now and towards me. One of them smiled at me like nothing had happened and this was completely normal, and to be fair around here it was. I on the other hand did not smile though. I reached into my coat and pulled out my blaster pistol. I shot him in the knee. As his buddy fell the other guy pulled a long knife out of his jacket and began taking the steps towards me. I held my pistol up and shot him in the jaw. He might live but that wasn’t what was important right now. He fell to the ground his blood mixing with the trash and the rain. I stepped over his body, and grabbed his friend by the collar and pulled him up so we were eye to eye. My fury and rage bubbled through me like a virus. Through gritted teeth I said

” What did you steal?”

The man was small in comparison to me, his body shivered with pain and fear with every snivel he let out. He tentatively held out a credit card. I smiled kindly and said

” Thank you very much sir for you contribution.”

I threw him back to the ground and closed the distance to the alley. There on the ground the victim lay in a wreck. Bruises dotted his body making look like a Dalmatian. I stood over him peering down at him trying to determine if he was still alive. He let out a long shuddering breath almost like he had been holding his breath for a long time. Other then that he didn’t move. I knelt down next to him and took his pulse. It was faint but it was there. I pulled my coat out and emptied it’s contents shoving them into the pockets of my pants. I then put his credit card in the pocket of my coat. I laid my coat over him and dragged him out of the rain.

As I walked out of the alley I pulled my gun out again and shot the poor guy’s knee again. I had to be sure he wouldn’t try anything again anytime soon. I calmly stepped over the other guy’s body and went on walking towards the spaceport. I had a ship to catch.

 

 

 

Centipedes

“You eat centipedes?”

“Good heavens, no. I eat millipedes.”

“Ew. I don’t know if we can be friends anymore.”

“That’s rude.”

“I’m joking.”

“Of coarse you are…”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s just… huuuuuu… I feel like we can never have a meaningfull conversation.”

“Are you on drugs or something? Since when were you all into feeling and emotion?’

“Well maybe you would know if you talked to me more instead of just going out drinking every night.”

“But… dude… we go drinking together.”

“Ye but you can’t be sincere when your drunk.”

“Sure you can, you just have to use a little imaginatioin.”

“I don’t get it.”

“What? Really? I guess this just got a little more akward then.”

“I agree this isn’t the place to have this conversation but if we putt it off we’ll never have it.”

“Ok whats on your mind?”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!”

“Maybe a little.”

“I hate you.”

“I don’t understand why.”

 

The last log of an adventurers journal

YEAR: 2099

DAY: UNKNOWN

TIME: UNKNOWN

Everyone I know is dead. Cindy got a disease. Derek got eaten by monkeys. Catherine died from a drug overdose and Roman just left… so I guess he isn’t really dead but, I’m never gonna see him again soooooooooo as far as I’m conserned he is dead. I fell down a hill and now I’m bleeding slowly to death. Writing this feels pointless because no one is going to find it. Unless some one does. In that case welcome dear reader. I hope you enjoy my final moments alive on this planet. We came here to be adventurous and have bragging rights when we got home, but then all my friends are dead and I’m gonna kick the bucket here pretty soon too. In the end do I regret coming here? Uhhhh yeah I would say so. You know? I’m not happy that all my friends are dead. It’s kinda… really sad actually. Thanks for reminding me. Crazy? No I’m not crazy. Just ummmmmmmm not the same as I was befooooooorrrrrrrrrrreeeeeee. Right. Right. Right. You understand me bru. I’m not crazy… of coarse not.

Time travel

A few months ago I was kidnapped. By me from the year 2099, and me from the year 1601. Obviously they dont get along. 1601 yells witch craft whenever 2099 use some technical shiz nips. 2099 gets irritated whenever this goes on for reasons that should be clear to anyone with a younger brother. When they first kidnapped me they said it was to fix a mistake I had made. But there is defiantly something more going on because 2099 looks like he is in his mid 20s and 1601 looks like he is at least 40. I just got caught in the middle. We are walking down a lonely road going along the northern coast of medievel england. None of us are entirely sure were this is going. We keep walking when 1601 slips. He begins to tumble down a cliff until he comes to a stop atop an alcove half way down. 2099 begins to climb down but the rock is slick with 1601’s blood. I just stand back and watch. I begin to go over what I’ve gone through. So I take out our time travel device and try to go back to my own time. As I get sucked through time I begin to understand what the “big problem” is, and I just made it. When I touch down on my front lawn it’s different then I remember. Looking around I find that the world is in ruins. I must have created a tear in the universe by leaving 2099 and 1601 together. With out the time travel device to stablize the paradox the world must have begun to eat it’s selfup trying to fix the problem. The problem with though is that now the whole world is ending. Not just the world NOW, but the world LATER, and BEFORE. So I punch in the time I want to go to. 10 seconds before I leave should give me enough time to stop myself. I pop out of the winds of time finding my self in the scene I ran from almost 400 years ago. I can see the gears turning in my head. My hand begins to lift from it’s resting possition to punch in the numbers that would have ended time. But I begin to make a full sprint towards my self. I tackle him and connect with his midsection sending us both over the cliff. We tumble into 2099 and 1601 and we all get battered and scraped as we fall towards the waters below. As we fall into the water we are able to stay afloat for a short time but with our wounds we cant stay up for long. One by one we all begin to sink to the bottom. First the other me, then 1601, then 2099. I am able to stay up and ponder what I’ve done. Did I just make a heroic sacrafice? Or am I now a mass murderer. Or maybe it’s an assist suicied. These thoughts continue in my head as I begin to sink further and further into the murky depths. The light plays of the surface of the water and it begins to hurt my eyes, so I shut them tight. I sink further and further. Until I wake up on a bed in the year 2098, but it’s only 6 in the mourning so i try to go back to sleep.